Now that we are back in the office, half of the time as well as fully online meetings via teams, we also do hybrid meetings, where half of us will be sat together in a meeting, and the other half will be onscreen and will have dialled in remotely.
This has been yet another challenge to get used to. My team are great and fully supportive, but I still feel awkward about asking for subtitles/captions being added to the main meeting room (so everyone in the room sees them).
The first time I asked for them to be turned on was in a hybrid team meeting. There were so many (unwanted) questions. It wasn’t the case (as I had hoped) that people would just accept that they were being turned on. They were disruptive, as auto-captions aren’t the best and would make mistakes which would have everyone in fits of laugher (and we also realised just how much people would swear on the call due to the large asterisks that would flash across the screen). Also, what I wasn’t expecting was that it made people nervous to say things . Not what you want in a team meeting.
So I didn’t ask for them again. Probably an error on my part, I should have tried to normalised it and asked again. But I didn’t – I felt outvoted.
Instead I just attend and strategically decide where to sit and ensure that the person who is running the meeting is attending in person so that I can lip-read (I just won’t understand what it being said by anyone not in the room). Alternatively I dial in myself from my desk (while everyone else is in the room). I’ve had to do this a few times, but it feels isolating and my boss usually insists that we all attend the meeting in the room if we are in the office. Alternatively, and I only do this if the call is being led from another location. I dial in on another device in the room. It still feels weird, but it appears to be the least disruptive.
My approach to team meetings has changed over the years though. I am determined to actually hear and understand what has being said. When I first qualified I went the first year never hearing anything that was said in team meetings. I just accepted it. The next two years, I had a friend who translated for me either in the meeting, or after the meeting and would give me a nudge if I got asked a question and repeated it for me. So i got the highlights. However, they didn’t have a technological solution at the time, I just had to put up with it.
Now that we have a solution, I am still trying to manage it. I’m still thinking too much about what other people think. Even though I am open about my disability but don’t want to be seen as difficult or different and still try to hide when I am struggling.
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